More

Do you ever long for an adventure, something new and excited, something uncharted and exotic? I know I do! 

I've been blessed with many adventures in the 24 years of life I've lived so far. I've eaten mangoes off the jungle floor in Panama, lived on a game farm in South Africa-had a baby lion bite my leg once, explored castles in the UK and even saw the Queen. I love traveling, as I'm sure most of you all know by now, and it's so easy to long for the next exciting adventure, to long for something different. Something more. 

The sights, sounds, and smells I've experienced have been an incredible journey so far, but in all of this there really is something more. A different kind of adventure, a different journey, more.

Something more.

This "more" that I'm talking about is something never ending and always new. Exciting, and filled with love. It's something that heals, and also calls you out to something immeasurable. At the same time, we can live our whole lives with this "something more" right in front of us and never see or experience it. It's invisible, but evident in everything.

Simply put. This something more is Jesus.

There is always more to Him! There is, but it's so easy to not see it. The only reason I'm starting to see it now is because He's brought me into a situation where I've basically been forced to become aware of it, which I am thankful for.

I'm so guilty of wanting an earthly adventure. To go someplace new and exciting, when all the time I've got an even greater adventure waiting for me... As I've been spending more time with Jesus this realization of "more" has become real to me. Jesus is a raging river, but we may only experience a slow dripping of who He is if we don't seek and abide in Him... He gave me this visual the other day. Simply knowing who Jesus is or having a casual relationship with Him is like the dripping of this faucet below. A slow, gentle dripping. Just about the only thing this does is become annoying.

 
But Jesus. Jesus unleashed and understood for all He is is as dangerous as a raging river!... Travel with me, if you will, to Victoria Falls Zimbabwe...

We arrived in Victoria Falls late at night, when we crawled out of the car after a 16 hr drive we were greeted with the sound of rushing water, even though the falls were a few miles away. The next morning we could see mist rising in the air from where the water in the Zambezi River was crashing down the falls. As we approached the falls the noise increased and mist began to settle on our faces. The closer and closer we got the louder and wetter it became. Finally we were getting close, the climate turned more tropical and wet, the roar of the river was filling the air... At last, there it was! Gushing forth in all it's power and glory amidst exotic trees and plants. You could only stand in awe of it's power.

As you traveled along it's path you soon became soaked, and I mean soaked. There was no escaping it. Simply being in the presence of the river you became wet, not a dry spot left on you.

This is how I see it with Jesus. The closer you get to Him, the more you explore His path, the more wet you will become with His presence, with His goodness, with His love, and with His courage.

There is so much more to Jesus than a slow dripping of a faucet, He is a mighty river, waiting to be explored!

I feel like I'm just barely getting past the dripping faucet myself. I know that there is more though. I know that the closer I get and the more I explore the greater it will become.... I know there will be ups and downs along the way, and there will be times when I feel like the river has run dry, but it's there. It's waiting to be explored.

This greater journey, greater adventure, something more is waiting for us. Will you go with me? 

How was Your day?

Yesterday was quite an experience. I saw the Queen, you know, like the Queen of England!

She came to visit Llandaff Cathedral, just a few minutes down the road from my house. I got to see her drive into Llandaff Village, and I was right there in front, she was just about 5 feet away from me in her car with Prince Philip. To be honest, it felt kind of surreal, almost fake. Then, I got to see her drive back out of town. I never thought that someday I would be able to say I've seen the Queen.

Last night I was journaling and just telling Jesus about my day, in some ways that almost seems silly because He knows everything that's happened, but I think He likes us to spend time with Him that way. I'd do the same if I came home to my family or friends, so why not Jesus?... As I was telling Him about my day, the thought occurred to me, what was His day like? Does Jesus have good or bad days? He feels our pain and joy, but when there's 6 billion people on the planet, how can He "feel" with all of us at once? And, since He really exists outside of time, does a day even make sense in His life?.... Honestly, I didn't come to any conclusions last night, I just thought it was interesting and that I would share it.

Something else occurred to me... Seeing the Queen was a big deal yesterday, there were ton's of people in the quaint little village to see her come in. There were flags and banners, kids shouting, and a tangible atmosphere or excitement in the air. When she came everyone started shouting and leaning in to get a better photo, I had no shame in leaning in as far as I could!... All of this for the Queen, which is well due I believe...But. What about Jesus? Do we make a big deal about meeting with Him? We have access to Him 24/7, and He's done a lot more than the Queen ever has or will do. Do we get excited about time with Jesus? Do I?... Sadly, for myself anyways, I see it as a duty more than a privilege all too much. I have to have my "Jesus" time. Go through my prayer list, read a few chapters, or something similar. I want my time with Jesus to be a celebration, something worth shouting about, because it is!

These are my thoughts for the day... 

What would a day in the life of Jesus look like?

And.

Why don't we celebrate Him like we would with the Queen or anyone else who is famous?

I don't want to leave...

This morning I've spent a lot of time with Jesus. I love it! Just to be in His presence, I could spend the whole day just being here. I can't wait until the day when He will be made fully known to me, to finally be in His physical presence, it brings me to tears just thinking of it.

When I have those precious times of intimacy with Jesus I never want to leave. I want to rest in His presence forever!

I feel like I'm repeating myself over and over with my posts recently, but I can't help it. Since I've been in Wales Jesus has continually been teaching to be still and rest in Him. It's hard, and so against our culture of work work work! It's a battle, simply to be. To rest. To not worry. To fight for those time of intimacy with Jesus. But when I make myself simply sit and seek, my heart is lifted! I'm filled, and I can't help but want to share some of it with you. When I sit and pray, He speaks to me, He showers His love on me, He brings me back into His joy and peace!

Hallelujah!

I don't want to leave. I want to be in the presence of Jesus, ALL the time! There's nothing better, nothing at all.

Hallelujah!

Jesus is fighting for me, He's fighting for a relationship with me. He's restless and desperate for me, willing to give everything, even His life! What am I willing to give to reach out to Him? A half-hearted prayer and doing my daily read-through-the-bible-in-a-year program isn't quite enough. He wants my love! He wants to be delighted by my presence, by me saying that there is nothing at all more important than simply sitting at His feet and crying out for Him! I want to be taken away by His presence. There's so much more to Jesus than we know. He's a raging river, but we may only be experiencing a slow drip of who He is.

I don't want to leave.

I want more.

Hallelujah!

Oh the sweet presence of my Jesus... I pray that if you know Jesus you will come to know Him in a deeper way, and if you don't know who He is I pray that you will come into a relationship with Him.

He's fighting for you, every second of every day! He wants you so much!

Please take some time to be with Jesus today. He's waiting for you, simply come to Him as you are and start talking, that's all it takes.

I want more of you, Jesus, take me away in Your presence!

 Hallelujah!

Worthless

I'm probably my own worst critic. I can't help but analyze everything I do and wish I had done or said something differently. I can't help but wish I was more like so and so. More outgoing. More creative. More theological... In these times of self-analysis, it's so easy to fall into the trap of feeling worthless. "What do I have to offer? What's the point? There's definitely someone better for this job or activity."

I was journaling this morning and reflecting on the past few months I've been in Wales. It's been amazing and challenging at the same time. Like I've said in previous posts, I can be very task oriented and enjoy getting things done. I haven't had that many "things" to get done recently, and to a certain extent I've lost my identity in that. I'm the person that gets things done and I feel good about it... Now that I don't have lots of "things" to get done, where am I going to get my satisfaction from? My identity from?

It all has to come from Jesus. Simply living in the truth that God loves me beyond imagination. Why? Because I'm me. Paul John Cook. He made me a certain way, and there's no one else like me. I can bring a smile to Jesus' face in a way that no one else can... I'm sure some of you at this point may be thinking, "Geeze, this guy is really full of himself!" It certainly sounds that way, but the truth is God really does love each of us in this way. It's hard for me to accept this love, it's hard for me to be Ok with being me. There's so many things I'd like to change, but I'm realizing that I don't have to. It's Ok to be you, it's Ok to be me... It's Ok that I'm different than the average Joe. To be totally honest I have no interest in sports or video games, although about 99% of all other guys my age do. I'd rather take photos, or hop in a car and go for a road trip! I love being around people, but there's times when I have nothing to say and I'm kind of a sucky conversationalist. I don't know why, but it just happens that way. Sometimes I want to boss people around and be in charge, and other times I'd much rather be the one behind the scenes doing the things people don't see or think about doing.... All summed up, I'm weird. haha. But, that's the way God made me, and who am I to question that?

Now there's more to this, and here's what God showed me this morning. In those times when I'm analyzing myself, wishing I was different and feeling worthless it's doing harm not only to myself, but to God. We are God's creation, made in His image. So when we look at ourselves in disgust and long to be something different, we're essentially spitting in God's face and telling Him He's messed up big time. "What was He thinking making me this way? That's dumb."... We have no place to question God in this way, no place to criticize His creation. There's something holy about a life, about a person. Something we really can't quite grasp. To look at a life, your life and say it should be something more, something different, is wrong. We are the image bearers of God, His prized possession. We are mysterious and worthy because God is.

We are all born into sin, but because of Jesus' sacrifice on the cross, fulfilling the law, we are now blameless in God's sight... We aren't perfect, that's for sure. I definitely have plenty of things God is still working on in my life. And I do think it's important for us to strive to become better. To grow intellectually in our thinking. To challenge ourselves to step outside of our comfort zones. But, if you've accepted Christ as your savior, and you're seeking after Him with all that you are, then it's Ok to be you. It's Ok to not be perfect, it's Ok to be a little weird. God sees us at our full potential. He isn't bound by time like we are. Right now we may have a long way to go, but He sees us for all that we are capable of and all that we will become.

So if you find yourself, like I often do, in times of self-analysis and wishing for something different, stop. Just Stop. Rest in the peace and knowledge that God loves you just the way you are. Don't insult God by telling Him He messed up when He made us... I'm pretty sure He knows what He's doing, so let's not worry about that.

Worthless

To

Worthy

We are not worthless, but worthy because of Christ!

Yesterday

Yesterday was a really good day. It started out with a lot of time just being with Jesus, I'm thankful that my mornings are usually free for me to use for seeking after Him. I went over to the Starbucks on campus to eat lunch and talk with the staff at the Student Union. I've been going there since I've been here, 7 weeks now, and I feel like some legit friendships are starting to form.

This past weekend I went to a Human Trafficking Awareness conference in a city about 15 minutes away from Cardiff. I learned a lot at the conference and it was an eye opening experience, to say the least. It's been on my mind, so eventually the conversation I was having with the staff on campus lead to that topic. Some of the people were aware of the issues of trafficking globally and in the UK, others were fairly shocked at the facts. One of the organizations that they talked about at the conference is Stop the Traffik. They have a lot of free resources and information online to help raise awareness about trafficking. I had looked at the website and at the very least was wanting to put up some of their awareness posters. As I was talking with my friends, one of which works in the Student Union Office, the idea came to me about seeing if I could put up some of the Stop the Traffik posters in the Union. What you have to understand is that there is a ton of regulations on Campuses in the UK about what you can and cannot do, especially when it comes to advertizing things. I decided to go ahead and ask anyways. My friend said I would need to talk with the student body president. She then offered to call her, which she did right then. The president said it was fine, as long as it was approved by my friend. We went into my friends office to take a look at the posters online to see if they would be Ok to post around the Union. She said they were fine, and then... she told to just go ahead and use their printer to print off 30 of the posters! After that she went with me to a few places around the Union to post them.

It's been encouraging to see how the friendships I've formed over the past few weeks have opened up doors for things I wasn't even thinking about. Coming here I really wasn't thinking about advocating human trafficking awareness, but obviously God has different plans than I do.

I'm planning to go downtown sometime this week and asking businesses if they would be willing to let me put up some of the posters in their stores.

There's been times over the past few weeks when I've been at Starbucks wondering if this was really going to lead anyway, wondering if it was really making any kind of difference. I can see now that it has, and I'm sure there's much more to come.


The rest of my day went quite well. I met with the pastor, Bryan, I'm working with just to connect and talk, we had some great conversations. Talked about what we are doing in Cardiff and also about what I should pursue in my future. To be honest with you, my future in ministry is completely open. There are so many options, it's almost overwhelming in some ways!... Something I'm wanting to use my time in Wales for is to seek after God, and really ask Him to give me guidance in where He wants me to be in a more long-term ministry. It could be staying in Europe, it could be going back to Africa, I simply don't know at this point, but I'm content to trust in Him.


After talking for a while, Bryan and I walked back back his house with a quick stop at a Lebanese restaurant for some hummus, amazing!... I spent the evening hanging out with the Elliott family, and then was able to chat with some good friends back home later in the night.


So that was yesterday, a good day... Before I go, I do have some prayer requests for you:

Please pray for the awareness of human trafficking to be raised here in Wales. So many don't know, or choose to ignore the facts because they don't want to think about it. Also pray for this slavery to broken and for those in bondage to be set free! Ask God to show me and Capital City Church how we can play a part in raising awareness and fighting to end this.

Also pray that God would burden my heart for specific areas of ministry and would lead me into the right place.

Thanks and God bless!

Give Up Your Life

"If any of you wants to be my followers, you must turn from your selfish ways, take up your cross and follow me. If you try to hang on to your life, you will lose it. But if you give up your life for my sake and for the sake of the Good News, you will save it."-- Mark 8:34-35

I think I've heard that verse at least 100 times. We're told to not be selfish, take up a cross, follow Jesus, and give up our life... The past few years of doing missions work or fundraising for missions work it's been so easy to look at that verse and say, "Yup, I got that... I'm a missionary, duh." Although I've always known that there was something else there. Something I needed to give up, I just wasn't quite sure what it was.

Give up your life.

"I am giving up my life, or at least I think I am."... But what does "life" really mean?

As I was reading this in Mark last night it finally hit me in a new way. "My Life" isn't just where I live and the job I have, it's also my dreams and expectations of what I want my life to be... I live in Wales, I have the title of Assemblies of God World Missionary. So, I'm giving up my life, I'm living out the Great Commission. Wrong.... To a certain extent, I have given up my life. I am willing to go where God sends and leave behind family and the possibility of a better paying career. But, these are things I'm easily willing to do. I love to travel and see new places, so it's not asking much to move to Europe for year.

What I struggle with is giving up the expectations of the amazing life I will have overseas. I long for every moment to be exciting and to see tons of people come to know Jesus, and to come quickly! I want to hop off that plane and have everything ready for me to do. I long to be satisfied by the fruit of my labor. I long to live that "ideal" life. My dream life.... But Jesus asks us to give it up.

So that's where I am right now, on this day. I'm taking the day to seek after Jesus. To lay my burdens at His feet, to ask Him to help me. To find real satisfaction in simply doing nothing but spending a day with Him.... How can I try to tell people that Christianity is all about a relationship if I can't even take a day and find satisfaction in spending it with Jesus, and not crossing things off a to-do list?

What exactly should I be doing? Where do I belong? What's next?... I'm always plagued with these questions. It's a blessing and a curse I think.... For now, I don't know the answer to any of those questions..... I do know this: I belong in the presence of a King who loves me. Who sent His only Son to die for me. A King who is closer than a brother, who has a plan for my life-far beyond my imagination. A King who finds delight in me, who rejoices over me. A King that is desperate for me, for my love and obedience. A King who wants the best for me. A King who allows me to be a part of His army, even though I'm weak and fearful. A King who deserves my all, who deserves my life-all of it, even my silly dreams of what it should be.

I belong to Jesus, and if I accomplish nothing in this life other than getting to know Him even the slightest bit better, than I can leave this earth happy and fulfilled!


Is Jesus enough for you? Are you satisfied with Him, only Him?

Are you willing to give up your life? Your dreams? Your everything?

Lessons from Loneliness

Finding yourself on the other side of the planet, and being able to count the number of people you know on your hands is challenging.

God created us in His image, in His likeness. He is all about relationships, thus we are wired to desire a relationship with Him and with each other. Friends and family are important, more so than we realize at times.

Being alone a lot the past few weeks has made me realize how important friendships are. Being lonely is horrible, in my opinion, but through the loneliness I've experienced the past few weeks I've learned a lot.

A Treasure... True friends really are a gift from God and should be treasured. I've come to have a new appreciation for the friendships I have.

Perspective... Through the times of being alone I believe I can now relate better to people who are alone for much of their time and also suffer from depression (not saying I'm depressed, I just feel like I can understand it better now). Most of my life I've been around people a lot and had at least a few friends around me for a good portion of each day. I'm realizing that a life without that is very challenging.

Provision... I've been praying for friends, and asking others to pray for this as well. To be honest, I really haven't made a close friend since I've been here. However, God has provided. There's been several times I was feeling very lonely and one of my friends from back home, or someone else who is serving overseas, will start chatting with me on Facebook, Gmail, or Skype. It's been incredible how the timing of it all has worked out.... I've really been praying that God would send me some good guy friends who I can hang out with. Guys just need to be around guys sometimes. It's funny because I have two really good guy friends who are both serving in Africa. One of them was a fellow intern from South Africa and another I met at Pre-field Orientation this past summer. The three of us are in similar situations, we're all lacking those guy friends in our lives. We haven't really found those friendships yet, but we've all had times to catch up with each other and/or other friends back home. It's not a person in your physical presence, but it's what we needed. It's what I've needed.

Priorities... Another blessing that has come out of this period is the time I've had to spend with Jesus. To be completely honest with you, I haven't been taking advantage of it like I should. There has been a lot of wasted time, but there's also been some great times of prayer and journaling. God's using this time to prepare me for something I think. I'm not sure what, but I know this is happening for a reason.


Truth be told, I like to be busy and have lots of work to do, but in this season it's not the case... Before I came to Wales I really thought about why I was coming and I came to the conclusion that the ultimate reason I was going is that God wanted me to come on an adventure with Him so we could fall more in love. It's not about the number of people that will come to our church, the help I can offer the missionaries I work with, or even the people who will get saved. Ultimately, God wants me here so I can know Him more. I know this sounds selfish in a lot of ways, but God is jealous for us. He wants us! And maybe I just need a slap in the face at times to realize that. God has called us to do good works and to serve, but that comes after the relationship with Him. He is my priority and my everything.

I may have days where I honestly don't have anything that I have to get done, but if I simply spend the day walking around taking in God's beauty and talking with Him, that's all He could ask of me for that day. I have to get my mind around the fact that my worth simply comes from the fact that Jesus loves me, and I can do nothing to earn that love or make it stop.

Even though I absolutely hate not having much to do, and I hate being lonely, I'm very thankful for the past few weeks. God is teaching me things, most of them I'm probably not even aware of!


Thanks for taking the time to read this. If you find yourself in a similar situation I hope you can gain something from this post.

God bless!