Next

I find myself sitting at the solid oak table my Dad made for our kitchen, looking out the window at the brown landscape that is typical of Kansas this time of year... After being overseas there is always a certain amount of comfort being back home, at the same time there is an odd sensation about it. I've been gone for a year and experienced so much, but everything here is nearly the same. But I'm not the same anymore, and hopefully it's for the better.

I've been back in Kansas for almost two weeks now. To be honest, it's been weird because it hasn't felt very weird. 10 hours after getting home I went to my grandmothers funeral. It's not exactly the first thing you want to do after being gone for a year and spending 24 hrs traveling, but I'm thankful I got to attend her funeral and be a part of celebrating her life. She lived to 96 and had a full life. It's always sad to loose a family member, but I'm actually happy for her... The day I found out she had passed away was the day I was moving out of my flat and into the Elliott's living room for my last few days in Wales. My emotions were stretched across an ocean as I was excited to see family and at the same time my heart was aching at the thought of leaving my friends and family in Wales. That night I went to a large youth meeting in Newport, I was taking photos, as usual. At the end of the meeting was an incredible time of worship. We were singing Amazing Grace and the weight of everything that was happening hit me like a ton of bricks! I was overwhelmed. Then I began to cry, they weren't tears of pain, but of joy. I knew that my grandma was free, her chains of sickness and pain were gone, she was at the feet of Jesus worshiping Him! It brought me so much joy to see that picture in my head, not only that but I couldn't wait until the day when I would join her in worshiping our Savior and King! God gave me such a peace about what was happening.

It didn't feel right leaving Wales, but it didn't feel right staying either. My heart was torn, but I knew that Jesus was in control and nothing else mattered.... My journey home went smoothly and I got to say goodbye to all of my friends before I left.... Being home has been peaceful. Like I said, it's strange that it's not strange being back. But, I think it's because of what God has done in my heart over the past year.

Next...

What's Next???

I've always, always, always been wondering that. So much so that I've never really been able to live right now. The past 6 years of my life have been very transitional. 6 different homes, 6 different jobs, 11 different countries visited. The last 3 years have been living in a different country each year. It's been amazing, I've met so many incredible people and made lasting friendships. One of the major downfalls of all this transition though is not really letting myself settle or just live for today without thinking of tomorrow. "I would do this if I were staying longer." "When I move to _____ it will be better." That's the way it's been the past 6 years. I've not let myself be fully engaged where I'm at and constantly been planning and or begging God to show me what's next.

It has to end.

I've decided that I'm just not going to worry about what's next. I've decided that I'm not going to let the amount of time I'm living in one location determine how I act and limit the choices I make. I've decided to simply let Jesus take it all and enjoy today.

It's strange, and amazing, I'm back in Kansas and I don't know for sure what I'm doing next, but it doesn't matter. I feel like I'm free from that burden now. It clung to me for so long, and I'm so happy to be rid of it!... I'm back in Kansas and I'm not worried about what's next. Strange, but good, and right.

Now there is a tentative "plan" for the next few years of my life. I know that God has called me into a life of missions, most likely overseas. But before I go anywhere else I feel like I need to learn how to live in the now. So I'm planning on moving to Wichita to live with my brother and work for a few years. I want to proactively wait on God's direction as to where/what I should do next. I want to be fully engaged in life here and now, while at the same time listening to whatever God has me more long-term. It's something I'm going to have to work on balancing.

I'm excited about the prospect of living someplace for a few years without having to worry about what I'm going to do next. I'm even thinking about trading in my 15 yr old, gas guzzling truck for something that gets a little better fuel economy and that I could travel in. It's something I wouldn't have considered doing before because I've always been living in what's next, which usually involved something overseas.

Granted, my "plan" could totally change, and I'm Ok with that. Whatever is next I'm going to do my best to live it to the full and not think about what will be after that. It's not going to be easy, but with God's grace I'm hopeful that I can accomplish that!

What's next???

Well, Jesus knows and that's all that matters.

Life

It's been way too long since I've written anything... Today will be a little different than most of my posts. Instead of one specific topic, it will mostly likely be me rambling about life, and some photos thrown in the mix :)

8 Weeks!

I can't believe it, but in less than 8 weeks I will hopping on a plane headed for Kansas! It's always a strange feeling knowing that your life will drastically change in a matter of weeks. The people I see everyday, the stores I go to, and the sites I see on a daily basis may never cross my eyes again. God's definitely changed my heart. To be honest, there were times earlier this year when I was basically counting down the days until I could leave, but now I am legitimately saddened by the thought of leaving! It's been a journey to say the least, with many hills and valleys! But I've seen God answer so many prayers recently... The thing that I've struggled with the most about leaving is the fact that our church didn't have that many young men in it to disciple our teenage boys. I hated the thought of just leaving the boys with no one around. So, I prayed. I trusted that God would provide. And, He has! Recently God's lead some awesome young men to join our church who are passionate about Him and are really connecting with our youth! Not only that, but I've been so blessed by their friendship these past few weeks! I'm just amazed by it all.

The Living Room

Many of you are familiar with Chi Alpha, the campus ministry I was involved with during my time at KSU. The Living Room is essentially our Welsh version of XA. It's been awesome to be a part of launching this ministry. Seeing something grow from an idea to an active ministry is exciting, and seeing it happen so quickly is really exciting! We started planning late this summer and have been able to establish an identity, publish a web-site, market the ministry, hold two outreach events, and start a regular weekly meeting!... We set up a "Living Room" just beside two of the Universities here in Cardiff. We gave out free iced coffees and invited the students to pancake party that night. We gave out hundreds of coffees and saw a total of about 50-60 students come to the two different pancake nights!.... I can't wait to see what all God does through this ministry, and I'm thankful that I've been part of laying the foundation for what's coming next!

Transformation

This is our church, and I love it!... We've partnered with a church in Cathays, the student area of Cardiff, to use their building, and help them renovate it! The back room is what we use for The Living Room and will eventually be a coffee shop open to the public! It's been awesome seeing the transformation happen, and to be a part of the work put into it. I love doing that kind of stuff. Taking something quite hideous and turning into something beautiful....Here are a few Before and After photos.

 The Back Room... A coffee bar will eventually be installed at the end of the room where the chairs are lined up against the wall.

 The Kids Room.

The Main Hall... Still has some work to do. Lighting and sound will be installed in a few weeks. The railing on the balconies still need painted, chairs need recovered, and eventually new carpet!

What's Next???

8 weeks isn't that far off  and some of you may be wondering what on earth I'll be doing next. I wonder that quite often myself!... Right now the plan is to actually stay in Kansas for a few years (probably :)). I know God's called me to a life of missions, but I'm just not sure where and what He's called me to, so instead of just randomly picking someplace to go I've decided to just wait for a while. I know He will show me what's next when I need to know.... Prayer for God's leading and finding a job when I get back to Kansas would be much appreciated :)

And... That's it, well there's much more I could share, but for today I think this is enough.

Great Plans

 I've labeled this my Prayer Tree. It's about a 10 minute walk from my house, right next to the Taff River. On days that it's not raining or very muddy; I'll walk to this tree, lay under it, stare in wonder, and talk to Jesus.

 

It's amazing how interesting a tree is when you take the time to really look at it. Your mind can get lost in the shapes that are created with the branches and leaves. All the colors, all the detail, in just this one tree.

 

Off in the distance is Cardiff, you can just barely see Millennium Stadium. The ground was a little damp, but I just didn't care. I wanted to rest in His presence

  All of that beauty in something so large as that tree, but there's also something mesmerizing about a single leaf.

It's my Prayer Tree. It's my place to get away and talk to Jesus. Of course you can talk to Him wherever you are, but there's something special about this place. I'm thankful that I'm in a place in my life where I can take time in my day to pray under a tree and be with Jesus. I haven't been to my Prayer Tree that much in the last month, and I miss that. I miss that time with Jesus. It's something so great; you'd think I'd make it more of a priority, but for some reason things like facebook or movies get in the way. Why is it so easy to waste away my time with worthless things, yet so hard to simply be? Simply be with Jesus. Not trying to impress Him, or ask Him for things, but just to be with Him.

I need more of Jesus.

Something that helps me focus on Jesus is music. Probably the most listened to song on my iPod this year has been "Great Plans" by Cloverton

Hello my love
your future waits for you
the certainties are few.

I know you’re scared
but the voices in your head,
will soon be mine instead; they’ll say

Great plans I have for you
great plans I have for you
great plans I have for you

I know you’re tired
the darkness in your eyes
I’ve come to recognize

So lay yourself down
in the shelter of my tree
rest awhile with me, here

Great plans I have for you
great plans I have for you
great plans I have for you 

And prosper you will
I know you will, I know you will
Prosper you will
I know you will, I know you will

Great plans I have for you
great plans I have for you
great plans I have for you 

I love the line "So lay yourself down, in the shelter of my tree, rest awhile with me, here" It pretty much sums up my time under the tree, resting with Him.... I love the whole song, all of it. On the days when I don't have anything left in me and I just don't understand, I listen to this song. I let its truth seep into my soul. God, the creator of everything, the One who sent His Son to die for me, who loves me more than I can fathom, has great plans...for me!


May we learn to rest awhile with Him, under the shelter of His tree. May we also rest in the fact that He has great plans for us. May we live a life that reflects that truth. May it seep into the depths of our hearts and souls.

Great plans I have for you

Soul Survivor

It was about 11 pm, I found myself in damp, smelly, dimly lit tent filled with dirty clothes and candy wrappers; although that didn't really bother me too much, it was probably one the best moments I've had this year!... It was the last night of Soul Survivor, and there I was in that smelly tent talking with five teenage boys about what God had done in their hearts over the past few days. God had spoken specific things and revealed Himself differently to each of us.

Throughout the week I had tried several times to discuss with the boys what God was doing, but it never panned out. I'm glad we waited until the last night though, God's timing is always best... For months I've been trying to connect with people and create an environment where people feel safe and comfortable to share their thoughts and struggles. Trying is the key word because it really hadn't happened much. But, I sat there that night amazed as each of the boys shared not only how God done things in their lives, but were openly confessing their struggles and asking me to pray for them! I heard stories of God filling them with His Holy Spirit, and also got to see young Christians courageously step out to pray aloud, something I'm not even comfortable with all the time. We shared, we laughed, and we prayed... I've been to a lot of small group meetings, and lead several of my own, but I can honestly say that night was probably one of the best small group experiences I've ever had.

It was definitely one of those "God moments" that I'll never forget.... The ironic thing is, a part of me didn't really want to go to Soul Survivor... Five days of camping in the UK (meaning lots of rain and mud), 11,000 teenagers, and very little sleep is not my idea of a "good time". However, I knew in my heart that I was supposed to be there, and that made me excited to see what God would do. God spoke specific things over me, but to be honest, I got more joy out of seeing these young men experiencing God in a deeper way,  being able to pray for them, and discussing what He was doing in their hearts.

There's days when I stop and think, "Am I crazy? What am I doing here?!"... But after an experience like that it pushes all those doubts away!

Worship at the main meeting.

Planting Wales: 6 Month Update

Bore Da,

Greetings from Wales! It’s been an incredible first 6 months in Cardiff and I would like to give you a few of the highlights!

The name of the church we’ve planted in Cardiff is Capital City Church. In the 6 months since we started, our attendance has gone from 12 to 20-25! It’s been a joy to see our church family growing over the past few months! Much of what we’ve been doing in these 6 months is meeting people, networking with other churches, and planning for the fall when we will be doing a lot of student and University outreach!

Sunday morning service on Easter.

We currently meet in the Elliott’s living-room but we are close to outgrowing their house, which is a good problem to have!

We ran our first Alpha Course this spring. Alpha is a 10-week course that explores who Jesus is and the basics of Christianity. Through the course we saw God working in the lives of everyone who attended. Even though I’ve been a Christian for most of my life, going through the course was an encouragement to me and I learned a lot.

My role here changes almost daily. I spend time meeting with the teenage guys who are a part of our church, I update our web-site and am in charge of making promotional materials, plus anything else that just needs done. I’m also in charge of our student ministry. Earlier this year we had a youth party, 35 youth between the ages of 12-18 showed up! Just a few weeks ago we had our first youth meeting where we introduced spiritual topics, 20 youth were able to come! I was able to get the UK Version of the Book of Hope and gave each of them a copy. Over the summer we will have a few meetings and plan on starting regular meetings this fall.

We like to have fun at our youth meetings! This was one of the games we played where the boys tried to get as many cheese-balls stuck onto the “Targets” as possible! In order to make the “Targets” sticky we added some peanut butter.

I’m also working with Cristi Alexander to help start a Chi Alpha University Ministry here in Cardiff. Most of what we’ve done so far is meet with students and focus on relationship building. In the fall we will start regular meetings and outreach events.

We believe in the power of prayer and as a church leadership team Bryan, Cristi, and I had the opportunity to pray for healing a few weeks ago. Clara and Ronnie, who come from Zimbabwe, have been in the UK for several years now and have dealt with many struggles. One of them was Clara’s ankle which had been inflamed in pain for the last year. After going to several Dr’s they were desperate for an answer. David, a core member of our church, offered for us to pray for them and they agreed. We met at David’s house, read James 5:14-15, explained our belief in God’s healing power, placed some oil on her ankle and we all prayed. After we were finished she told us how the pain had disappeared! You could see that the swelling around her ankle had gone down! Since the healing, Clara and Ronnie have been attending CapCity and inviting their friends to come with them.

These 6 months have been filled with incredible stories of God’s faithfulness, love, and power. We've seen 4 decisions/re-commitments for Christ!... There’s been a fair share of challenges as well, but through it all I’ve realized how good God really is. I’ve also realized that I must find my identity and self-worth only in God, not what I do.

Prayer Needs:

• God’s wisdom and guidance as we plan for the future and do outreach in Cardiff.
• The right connections with University students.
• Hunger for God’s Truth amongst the youth and University students we work with.
• More Welsh leadership in Capital City Church.

Thank you and God bless,

Paul Cook

Mighty Warrior

"I don't know even know if I want to be a missionary anymore. I feel like I don't have anything to offer! When I think about the giftings and skills needed to be in ministry or work for a missions organization, I don't have any of them... I'm frustrated at God because it seems like all I do is wait and He never gives me any direction!"

That was the gist of an e-mail I sent yesterday afternoon to one of my mentors back home in Kansas. I was at the end of my rope. For some reason the past few weeks have been really hard. I think part of it is I realized that my time in Wales is half-way over and I have no idea what I'm going to be doing next. Truth is, I like to plan and be in control. In many ways I'm flexible in my plans, I'm open to going different places and trying different things, but I want to know well in advance about them! If God is sending me someplace different, well I'd like to know ASAP, I need to start planning! However, that's generally not how God works.

But, back to yesterday... I was at the point of questioning if I really even want to be a missionary anymore. I had spoken with my Mom on Skype that afternoon and she was asking me questions trying to help me process things and maybe get some ideas of what I should pursue next. She asked me why I wanted to be a missionary. I just sat there for a minute and really had to think. I gave some half-hearted answers that didn't even convince myself that it was a legitimate calling on my life. I've been looking into job listings for missions organizations as well, but I found that I had no qualifications for the jobs listed. To be honest, I felt completely worthless, like I had nothing to offer. Nothing in me...

I tried to get my mind off of things, so I made dinner, and then got ready for the Alpha Wales Vision Evening. The CapCity Staff were all going to attend. In case you don't know, Alpha Course is a 10-week course that gives all the basics about Christianity and Jesus, we ran one earlier this year and it was great! The point of the evening was to encourage people who were already doing Alpha Courses, to have a time of teaching on Jesus' vision, and a time of prayer and worship. The teaching section was great, it was about Matthew 9:35-38 were Jesus talked about the harvest being plentiful, but the workers were few. Right away I felt some conviction and a reminder of why I'm doing what I'm doing. The harvest is plentiful and the workers are few! Already I felt that God had spoken to me. Then the second speaker, Bill, came up and he was talking about prayer. He basically shared a lot of stories, which I love, about answered prayers and how God had done great things in his life through being a part of Alpha. Then we had a time of prayer and worship.

Towards the end of the prayer time the Holy Spirit began speaking prophetic words through Bill to some of the people in the audience. I've been to a lot of things were this happened and I've always wished that someone would have a prophetic word for me; more so than ever, I was hungry for God and I needed something from Him. Bill had given a prophetic word to a guy on the other side of the room then he looked straight at me and said, "You, come up for prayer." Without hesitation I stepped right up to the front, which wasn't far as we were on the second row. He looked me in the eyes and said this. "God is calling you out. He's releasing you. Do you know how God called on Gideon? He greeted him by calling him a mighty warrior. God is calling on you in the same way. What you don't see in yourself, God sees in you."... It hit me like a ton of bricks and I was speechless! God literally spoke specifically to me through this man that I had never met before! It was exactly what I needed to hear. I had been feeling worthless, like I had nothing to offer, I really didn't see anything in myself. But, God does and He's calling me forth. Mighty warrior is what it says in the NIV, or Mighty hero in the NLT. Judges 6:12, "The angle of the Lord appeared to him and said, 'Mighty hero, the Lord is with you.'" This was before Gideon had done anything, he was out working in the fields. But God saw him tearing down the idols of baal, and defeating the Midianite army of thousands with only 300 men, he saw him becoming Israel's judge and living in peace for 40 years. Gideon saw himself and his clan as weak and lowly, but God saw him as the mighty warrior that he was to become.

I don't know what will happen in the next 6 months, or even what tomorrow will bring. I do know this, God is alive and active! He's speaking to me, to us and calling us forth. He sees in us what we don't see in ourselves.

God saw where I was yesterday, he saw in my depression and lack of confidence. He had compassion on me and spoke words of life into my heart.

He called me forth...

He called me a Mighty Warrior.

Beauty

I spent last week exploring Italy with my brother and a friend from college. We saw a lot in the 8 days we were in Italy. Venice, Florence, Pisa, and the Cinque Terre- Italian riviera on the Western coast.... It was amazing. I probably use that word too much, but I can't think of a better word to describe it.

Venice is one of the most picturesque cities I've been to. There's just something enchanting about the all the canals and bridges crossing them. The tiny, winding "streets" that go through the city call out to you and make you want to see what's around the corner. Florence is filled with some of the best sculptures and paintings in the world. You stand in awe as you look upon the masterpieces and contemplate the time and energy put into every brush stroke and carving of stone. The churches in all of the cities are works of art themselves. The amount of detail put into every surface of the buildings are breathtaking. The hours and hours of work put into it is incredible. The Cinque Terre is like something out of a fairy tale. Tiny villages planted in the cliffs along the Mediterranean sea. The water is the most stunning, clear blue I've ever seen. The hills are filled herbs, flowers, and fruit trees. The air is rich with the fragrance of flowers blooming and the cool freshness of the ocean breeze. Being there brings your heart to life. 

So much beauty, it's overwhelming. But there's something more to it. There were thousands of tourists everywhere we went. Why are these places so popular? What is it that calls out to people, to make them spend hours of travel and hundreds or thousands of dollars to simply see these cities and landscapes? Beauty. God's creation, a reflection of who He is. Every masterpiece has a bit of the master in it. When we see these places of beauty we see a little bit of God's glory, His beauty. 

The Cinque Terre was probably my favorite out of all the places we visited. I can't help but feel at home and just a little closer to Jesus in places like Cinque Terre. Like I said, it's brings your heart to life. It gets me excited because I know that this is only a dimly lit preview of what's coming next, heaven! I must say that my excitement and expectancy for heaven has grown over the past few months. As I've spent more time in the presence of the King, seeking His face, I've come to to know Him better which only makes me want more. I want to experience His presence in new ways. I want to know His love like I've never known it before. I want to stand in awe of His creation and sing His praises. I long for the days when all of my time will be spent with Him and there will be NO barrier between us! Me and Jesus, His glory and beauty fully known!

Beauty calls out to us because we were made for so much more. We were made to be in the presence of Jesus, to soak up His love and beauty. I understand what the Apostle Paul was talking about in Philippians 1: 21-24 "For to me, living means living for Christ, and dying is even better. But if I live, I can do more fruitful work for Christ. So I really don’t know which is better. I’m torn between two desires: I long to go and be with Christ, which would be far better for me. But for your sakes, it is better that I continue to live."

We all long for that something more, for God's beauty in its fullness, but let us continue in the work God has before us for this life is but a blinking of an eye in comparison to eternity. Until that day comes may we enjoy the beauty God has displayed for us!

  

 Venice

  

 Florence

Pisa

 

 Cinque Terre