Give Up Your Life

"If any of you wants to be my followers, you must turn from your selfish ways, take up your cross and follow me. If you try to hang on to your life, you will lose it. But if you give up your life for my sake and for the sake of the Good News, you will save it."-- Mark 8:34-35

I think I've heard that verse at least 100 times. We're told to not be selfish, take up a cross, follow Jesus, and give up our life... The past few years of doing missions work or fundraising for missions work it's been so easy to look at that verse and say, "Yup, I got that... I'm a missionary, duh." Although I've always known that there was something else there. Something I needed to give up, I just wasn't quite sure what it was.

Give up your life.

"I am giving up my life, or at least I think I am."... But what does "life" really mean?

As I was reading this in Mark last night it finally hit me in a new way. "My Life" isn't just where I live and the job I have, it's also my dreams and expectations of what I want my life to be... I live in Wales, I have the title of Assemblies of God World Missionary. So, I'm giving up my life, I'm living out the Great Commission. Wrong.... To a certain extent, I have given up my life. I am willing to go where God sends and leave behind family and the possibility of a better paying career. But, these are things I'm easily willing to do. I love to travel and see new places, so it's not asking much to move to Europe for year.

What I struggle with is giving up the expectations of the amazing life I will have overseas. I long for every moment to be exciting and to see tons of people come to know Jesus, and to come quickly! I want to hop off that plane and have everything ready for me to do. I long to be satisfied by the fruit of my labor. I long to live that "ideal" life. My dream life.... But Jesus asks us to give it up.

So that's where I am right now, on this day. I'm taking the day to seek after Jesus. To lay my burdens at His feet, to ask Him to help me. To find real satisfaction in simply doing nothing but spending a day with Him.... How can I try to tell people that Christianity is all about a relationship if I can't even take a day and find satisfaction in spending it with Jesus, and not crossing things off a to-do list?

What exactly should I be doing? Where do I belong? What's next?... I'm always plagued with these questions. It's a blessing and a curse I think.... For now, I don't know the answer to any of those questions..... I do know this: I belong in the presence of a King who loves me. Who sent His only Son to die for me. A King who is closer than a brother, who has a plan for my life-far beyond my imagination. A King who finds delight in me, who rejoices over me. A King that is desperate for me, for my love and obedience. A King who wants the best for me. A King who allows me to be a part of His army, even though I'm weak and fearful. A King who deserves my all, who deserves my life-all of it, even my silly dreams of what it should be.

I belong to Jesus, and if I accomplish nothing in this life other than getting to know Him even the slightest bit better, than I can leave this earth happy and fulfilled!


Is Jesus enough for you? Are you satisfied with Him, only Him?

Are you willing to give up your life? Your dreams? Your everything?