I hate being in the spotlight. It's weird because I don't mind being the center of attention in some situations, but if there is some party or event or anything like that and it's focused on me, I don't like it. The unfortunate thing with being a missionary is that in some ways you are forced to be in the spotlight. More so than being in the spotlight or on stage,I don't like feeling like I'm bragging when I talk about what I'm doing with my life. "Look at me, I'm going overseas to be a missionary." That's not my heart at all, but I can't help but feel like that's how others may be perceiving me at times.
This past year I've met new people and run into old friends, and of course the question is always asked, "What are you doing now?" My reply usually goes like this, "Well, I graduated from K-State in December 2009, I spent 2010 in South Africa doing children's ministry with OneHope, this year I'm working at an elementary school as a para with behavior disorder kids, and next year I'm moving to Wales to do church planting." Most people's responses are something like, "Oh, wow!" I cringe on the inside and feel like a jerk. I feel like I'm bragging and trying to seem holier-than-thou.
The truth is God has called all of us to different things. A part of me wants everyone that can be a missionary to be one. I really feel like at least a year of just serving with a missionary in another country has so many benefits, but truthfully not everyone can do that and not everyone is supposed to. Although, I'll always at least suggest it to a college student.
We are all missionaries, but not everyone is called to be a vocational missionary. I feel like God has called me to be a vocational missionary. Why else would He put such a desire in my heart to help people, to travel, and to have a love of photographing new places? But, just because I think God wants me to be a vocational missionary doesn't make me any better than the person he has called to be a stay-at-home mom or a businessman. It's easy to think that a missionary is a better Christian because they are willing to move around, openly talk about Jesus, and have to raise money to live off of, but it's not true at all. We are at our best when we are our true selves. When we do what God wants us to do. In my case that may well be full time missionary work overseas, and for someone else it may be working at grocery store. One is not better than the other. However, if that person called to be a missionary doesn't do so because they are scared, they aren't being Gods best. And if that person who is called to work at a grocery store thinks it's not good enough and instead decides to go overseas because it seems like the good Christian thing to do, they aren't being Gods best either... So how do we know what's Gods best for us? Spend time with Him and you'll know. I know that sounds like a cop-out answer, but really it's what it comes down to. Unless you know someone how are you supposed to know what they want you to do?
I read this article today and that's what inspired me to write this post. We need Christians everywhere. Overseas as missionaries and in the everyday mundane. I like that the author makes the point of how a missionaries life isn't always as exciting as it's made out to be. Truthfully, when I was in Africa I spent a lot of time cleaning, cooking, doing behind the scenes work, and even writing soccer clinic curriculum (never saw that one coming!) It wasn't all glory and adventure. Yes, I did live on a game farm, which was an adventure in itself, and I did get to go to Victoria Falls and Cape Town, but those were just a few days out of the 10 months I was there. A missionaries life can be very exciting at times, but there is a lot of the mundane in it as well.
I guess it really comes down to this, it's not about the adventure. It's about being true to who God wants you to be. Whatever it is. Be true to that and don't try to be something God doesn't want to be; but also, don't afraid to be what God has called you to be!
As long as you are following after God's heart and doing what He asks you to do, that's your best. I never, ever, ever want anyone to think that I'm better than anyone else because I'm a missionary. I'm just trying to find out what God really wants me to do, and be faithful to that. I believe that's what He wants from all of us.
He wants that intimate love relationship, and through that He will make the path you are supposed to take clear. Love first, then comes direction. We must seek HIM, not a 5-yr plan.
When you are in that place of loving Jesus and following His calling on your life it will be an adventure; whether it be sweeping a floor, or writing computer soft-wear, or being a missionary in Africa or in Europe. Loving Jesus is the true adventure, not the job or the location.
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